coming up for air.

I have been so wrapped up in school, work, schedules I haven't had any time to think!

I need to blog more because life's beautiful moments are slipping by so easily, and I have nothing

to show for it. Except some iphone pictures and text conversations, to look back on.

I am a thinker. I am so engrossed in what is going on and what I want to happen I forget what

just passed me by. I literally blinked and my daughter is five years old.

5!!!

I struggle daily with feeling like an adequate mother when I still live (well- moved back) home and won't be an RN for another year. I just don't feel whole.

Plus my fingers itch to rob Target blind ....(with my money.... so maybe they are the robbers?) for bathroom towels and shower curtains, pretty platters, and mugs to add to my collection, decorative wreaths, silly framed art, end table nick-knacks. I want to be layering and creating my home. Ella's home. And instead I'm tripping over toys in my tiny bedroom. It's very disheartening.

I need to give myself credit. We are planning on moving very soon. June/July. Before my baby starts kindergarten. But I guess I am just anxious for it excited and suddenly I feel out of breath and I need to get to the finish line now. Well the finish line of this chapter.

We have learned a lot. We have gone through so much Ryan and I. I hope we make it. The odds aren't the best but who really looks at numbers anyway?

I'm betting on us.

Top 12.

goals for this year. in no particular order.

12. Stay active. Excersize at least 3x a week.

11. Read ahead and on time for school. Don't play catch up the week of my exam.

10. Only keep 1 planner- not 4. doh!

09. PRACTICE PATIENCE.

08. Be happy. Happiness is a choice and not always the easiest one.

07. Don't plan the months away. Try and live in the moment more.

06. Accept people for who they are and love them for that.

05. MOVE :)

04. Try and save money for longer then a week. oops.

03. Do not stress about next Christmas so that you can't even enjoy it!

02. Be more thoughtful about the food I nourish my body and my child's with.

01. Enjoy this time of struggle and uncertainty. It's invigorating and strengthening.

m.

distracted.

I'm trying to get a start on nursing homework.

But I'm exhausted from working 7-3 today.

8 hours in a room with 2 severely confused patients,

is mentally and physically exhausting.

Plus it was my first day back to work from four days of

Vacation/ Christmas Hell.

Yikes that's a bit blasphemous isn't it?

And oh yeah- being in my warm comfy bed with Lion King on the TV

isnt really conducive to reading 100 pages of a 15 pound text book.

Wow. Talk about excuses!

There's always tomorrow.

Now it's time to cuddle this girl:

need not want.

26th

us:

26 year old mama.

almost 5 year old baby (?) girl.

nursing school.

prekindergarden.

special guest:

baby daddy/boyfriend.

love. hate. love.

history:

brokeup. moved home. made up. moving out.

purpose:

vent. obsess. share.